Shhhhhhhh....

I find myself in the bathroom a lot lately.
Not because of my anxiety ridden irritable bowels, but because I need to hear... NOTHING.
It doesn't usually work though.

The summer is LOUD.

My brain spins with the words, "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!"

At the beginning of summer it is sorta welcoming. I missed being able to hang around the house with the kids, in our jammies together. I missed taking them to the snowball stand. I missed just being able to do something with them without worrying about homework, or school nights.

Unfortunately, that happiness usually turns into a different feeling by mid-summer.

The structure of the school year is lost. And they become WILD ANIMALS.

I look at them and think, "WHO ARE THESE STRANGE LITTLE PEOPLE!" They certainly aren't MY children!

Trying to find something for them to do can be tortuous. Especially if the pool is green or I am out of crafts.
Or meds.

If it is a day that nothing is planned and "Ralph" from the other side of my brain, has emerged, then I scrape up my last bit of elbow noodles, some glue, and construction paper to pass the time for them,  and to find some QUIET TIME of my own.

I drag my lifeless body to the bathroom, as if it is an OASIS of sanity. But it only lasts for a sweet little moment.
Because the banging of the door begins. "Mommy! Are you in there? I need to come in!"

No. You. DOOOONNNNTTTTT!!"

No quiet.

I pull out all the spices in my pantry and let them start mixing their own concoction of nastiness. Then I attempt to sneak outside for some silence. But it is short lived.
"Where ya going Mommy??"

Leave. Me. Alooooooonnnnneeee!

No quiet.

Ok. I get it.
THEY NEED ME.

One thing Motherhood ALWAYS abundantly provides...
GUILT.

But they need me healthy and sain, RIGHT?
Well, that requires silence for me.

I NEED IT.
Or they will be counting mufflers.

I joke. But yes, the bathroom. It is my happy place.

The car... It is also my happy place. When I am alone with my thoughts, and some good music it rejuvenates my SOUL. And I am better for it.


I was in my car, on my way to teach Vacation Bible School today. It was early, I was half dead, and I was ANYTHING but alone.
After the last neighborhood kid crawled in my car to sit down, I realized that she made #8 in my 7 seater Saturn Outlook.

Damn.  I didn't do the math before I left.

The kids had been telling me there was no more room in the car.
But I didn't REALLY  know what they were saying.  They were all telling me at once, in a loud screechy way.
So I just blocked it out. And said, "uh huh", the way us Mommas so often do.

When it is that early in the morning, with no coffee, and a pitiful sandwich baggy of Cheerios for breakfast, I am usually occupied with feeling sorry for myself.
BUT... they did warn me of my mathematical screw up.

 I turn the music up so I can feel better,  but this only makes them talk LOUDER.

So I turn it down.
"Turn it up!" Carly yells.

So I do.

Same story.

No quiet.
Although, that is an obvious scenario where NO quiet would exist.

I get to the church and start my first class. Its hotter than hell outside and it has gone from "Mommy Mommy Mommy" to "Miss Leslie, Miss Leslie, Miss Leslie".
This sound is nothing new, my children's friends are at my house alot.
But once again, I haven't had my quiet yet.
Different kids, same twitch.

I glanced over their heads at a little peaceful area set back between the trees.
There is a labyrinth. With a little bench in the middle of it.
It is much smaller than the one in the picture above, probably 10ftx 10ft, but same idea.

It is a circular maze where you walk to find peace. Silence. Alone time with God. WHATEVER you are searching for.

The maze will EASILY take you to the center where you end up at the bench.
Ahhhh, THE BENCH.

A place to sit and rest. A place to meditate. A place to get away from little children screaming in your ear.

Oh how I wanted to sit on that bench.

And I would!

As soon as the first group left.

Before I headed over to the Labyrinth I decided to open up the umbrella on the patio set that was out there. Why?  I don't freakin' know. I guess I figured it would make it seem more like a vacation than a sweat fest.
So I open it.
But there was a wasp.

I have been stung by a wasp before. In my eyeball.
It ain't nice.

Before you know it I have engaged myself in wasp murder, forgetting all about the maze of sanity.

The next group comes, with suckers sticking out of their little mouths. In no way ready for my blindfolded obstacle course.  That is all I need.
So I'm pulling suckers out of mouths left and right.
Yours wasn't the red one? Well, it IS now.

Oh but beyond the madness... the labyrinth.

Quiet time.

What does it feel like?
Will it give me the peace I SO long for.
Is it an out of body experience that will rejuvenate and refresh me for the rest of the summer?

I've got to get to it!
And mainly, to the bench of tranquility. Ahhhhh.

Second group gone.
No blow pop tragedies.

I'm making my way to it.

It's there.

Right in front of me.

No one else in sight.

I scope it out from above. It looks simple enough.
Just follow the little maze that will lead me RIGHT TO the, oh so awaited bench.

I step in.
And I start the slow walk towards the middle.
Finding my peace.

I am surrounded by beautiful oak trees, God...SILENCE.

It weaves its way around in a simple manner so obviously leading to the center.
As I walk it, slowly, I imagine the center being MY center.

That once I reach it, I will in fact feel centered, calm, ready to face the rest of the day.

I smiled.

Briefly though.

Because quickly, the smile turned into utter confusion...

...and it happened.


I passed up the bench.


I passed it up and started weaving my way back out of the labyrinth.

"WHAT THE EFFIN' CRAP!" I said outloud.

The more I weaved AWAY from the bench, the more pissed off I got.

It was simple, self explanatory...
BUT STILL... I could NOT get to the center. The maze led me AWAY.

It was quiet all around me, but my mind was screaming.

The labyrinth couldn't even help me.

It PUSHED me out of it!

I am not entitled to sanity. I knew it!

As I looked down at the center edge of the circle, the end of the path, I felt as if it was the end of the earth. And I was ready to just jump off.

But I said, NO. It will NOT defeat me!

I turned around slowly, peered at the stupid bench, then broke what I am guessing is the almighty labyrinth rule. I said forget the maze, and I just walked right to the bench.

I sat down.
Looked around.
Felt, NOTHING.

It wasn't the same.
I did it wrong.
The magic wouldn't work now.

WHY!?

How long have I been here?
Is it going to rain?
When is the next group coming?


OK, focus, focus...
Quiet.
FIND the quiet.

Ahhhh, there it is.

There it is.

I've waited too lo...


"MISS LESLIEEEEEEE!!!"


Shhhhhhhhh.... IIIITTTTT!


There's always tomorrow.

I'll be back labyrinth.

I'll be back.

"Lets talk about PETS, bay-bee!"

I  saw a commercial today with that older lady from Glee. There were a bunch of people standing around wearing white tees. On each tee was one word that described that person. I don't even know what the commercial was about. I just saw the ending where a ladies shirt said, "bipolar". And I laughed.

What would I want my ONE word to be? Although it is fitting, I thought, not THAT word. 

"Bipolar".
Yeah.
My doctor told... uhh, I mean, I read about in a book once.
Page 16 I think.


But anyway, NOW would probably be a good time to introduce my different personalities.

Personality # 1:

This would be the semi-normal, God-loving, emotional, empathetic, got her stuff together, gonna save the world,
"shes a goooood giiiirl, loves her Mommaaaa... loves Jeeeesuuuus, and America toooo"


We will call this girl, "Grace".



In the NEXT corner of my brain we have PERSONALITY #2!  She loves long walks on the beach...

Really though, this girl is ka-RAY-zee!

She is manic, silly, impulsive.  She breaks out in dance and song, ( as you just saw with the Tom Petty Song) and she does it in the most unexpected moments. This is usually when she hears, "your are so weird" from the people around her.  She has a potty mouth, some mad karate moves, and some CRAZY ideas.
She is... THIS BLOG.


We will call her "Ray". (look 7 lines above)


Then last and OBVIOUSLY least, we have PERSONALITY #3!
This one has some issues.

The world can bite the big one.
She is going to stay in the four walls of her house, not open a window, then just drink coffee. Maybe with a shot.
ALL. DAY. LONG.
A shower? Forget it!
Sleep? Oh yeah!
Some may call her Depression, BUT we will just call her "Ralph".
Why Ralph?
Because I CAN.


So, what is the point of all this name calling?
Nothing, really.
I just always wanted to name them. 
Plus, I wanted to talk about why I end up with so many pets.


So, the moments right before I get a pet, usually start with ole' Ralph.


And just so there is no confusion, Ralph IS a guy.
I was a major tom-boy growing up, so it will just cover that area of my life too. Why not.


He is that place that I go to when I have lost all hope. Or feel so weighed down by the world, by my emotions, other peoples emotions, children issues, school issues, feeling like a failure. Blah blah blah. We've all been there, right?
Ole' Ralph.


You think you can't possibly go on.
Someone else has got to take over your role in the world so everything around you can still function.
'Cause the world ain't stoppin' over yur emotional problem! (Ralph has a country accent, btw)
Or your P.M.S. ( Sorry Ralph, I didn't think this out, did I?)
Whichever the case may be,
It sucks.
It's a deep dark abyss of King poop. 

With Ralph, it is a day that you craaaawl through the motions.  
The wooden sign on my kitchen wall says it well...
"Some days it's not even worth chewing through the restraints."


Usually Ralph hangs around a day or two... Or three... Or 10.
But he is spread out through the entire month, in random surprise ATTACK MODE!
Hate 'em.


The good thing about Ralph though is he gets his ass kicked by my home girl, Ray.


She's a ninja.


A slightly psychotic one.


But no doubt, a ninja.


She comes in and takes over after being down in the dumps so long with Ralph.


Ray is the one that carries through with the actual purchasing of the animals.
She figures doing this, will be a nice change to the mood.

What will it be today?
Two puppies?
Aww, two puppies.
That. Would. Be. AWESOOOME!


Why not one puppy, you ask?
Because Ray SAID SO..


Now what about a cat? EVERYONE needs a CAT!

Right?
YES, RIGHT!
Duh!

And a litter box.
And your couch scratched apart.
Ray says, double that shit!
Two cats!


A snake? Sure!! It's free!
It's crawling in the front yard, so we must save him! (as Grace pokes her head in a little).


What about a rabbit?
Brian can build him a cage.
And the baby bunny and kitten can play together and live happily ever after...and... and...


RAY BRINGS CHAOS.


RAY BRINGS NO COMMON SENSE


RAY DOES NOT SEE CONSEQUENCES.


OH, but Grace does.
And she usually appears a few days after Tornado Ray blows though.


But Ralph peers his ugly head in first.


He laughs a crazy kinda laugh, then goes away.


True Story.


And we ALL lived together under one big happy roof.
And part sky.
5 real people, 3 invisible ones,  and 6 pets.


Poor Grace though.
She tries.


She has such perseverance, and hope.


But she is left with a zoo.


And ALL of these things to take care of...


Ear mites and fleas.
Thousands of dollars worth of mange treatment.


Potty training puppies and babies at the same time.
Sometimes the dog would be sitting on the toilet with a paci in its mouth, and a pull-up around it's ankles.


Although now you know why my kids randomly pee in the grass.


Two cats that ended up outside because,
#1... I have an allergy to cats.
Thirdly...  one of those cats pee on my laundry piles.
And (D)... The other cat doesn't change the litter when he's done using it.


So they are outside.
There is a coyote in the neighborhood though. And one of the cats is pretty laid back.
You do the math.


The snake... STILL here.
Which now makes me a murderer of innocent little mice.


The cute little bunny, Thumper. He grew up to be a big bunny and outgrew the cage.
He was free to run and play around our big yard for a year.
Happiest bunny you'd ever know.

But, he was counting mufflers the day before Easter.
He didn't get past 1.


Grace gets tired.
Tired of cleaning up after Ray.


She can't take care of anything or anyone else.
She can't believe the mess that Ray leaves behind.


So what happens?
Ralph takes her down once again.


Ole' smelly Ralph.
With his sweat pants and bad hair day hats.
His bowl of ice cream for dinner.
His 10th episode of "intervention" in one day.


Will Ray ever appear again? We need her spunk!


Oh, Ray appears.


She comes back.


In her ninja-like way, of course.


She will snap Ralph out of it!


And she will do it the only way she knows how...
<
<
With 20 fish...
<
<
<
and a crab.


ALL of which, also have names.
.

Anyway,  I don't think I would even use one word to describe me.

I think i would use pictures instead.


"GRACE":

"RAY":

"RALPH":

"LESLIE":

.

Just some little girl crap.

Carly is 4 years old, and such a character.

She has this little thing she does whenever she is being a smart ass.
She puts one hand on her hip, points her finger at you, clicks her tongue twice and then winks.
Like she's got it ALL figured out.
Something Lumbergh from "Office Space" would do, without the TPS report.

She says it annoys her brother, Brice, and that's why she does it.
Big shocker there.

Anyway, just keep that in mind.


So Carly is scared of EVERYTHING lately.
Germs,
Bugs,
Diabetes,
Beer,
You name it.

I forget how scary life can be when you are that little.

We were eating at a restaurant after church today and she wanted a root beer.
They bring out a glass bottle of Barques and Carly looks at me, eyes big and scared. She was trying to get an approving look from my face.

I asked her what was wrong and she replies in a whisper, "Moooommy, it's beer. Beer SCARES me."

I should have known, right.

Well,  of course Brice hears her and starts chugging his down saying, "Beer makes you EXPLODE!"
And Devin has a sprite, so he's good.

I reassured Carly that it was only root beer. But she was still scared, shaking her head, no.

I then told her to taste it so she could see, and she says,

"BUT IF I DO, ALL OF MY STUFFED ANIMALS WILL COME ALIVE!"

Uhhhhhh....
Yeah. No clue.

But in her mind, COMPLETELY true.
Although, enough beer, maybe they WOULD appear alive?
Or maybe I had too much beer at some point and started talking to her animals?

Probably a good idea to just leave THAT one alone.

So anyway,  while boating yesterday, we saw a gator in the water.

Everyone was excited, running up to the side of the boat to get a better look.
Except for Carly of course, who was looking up at me like I was a complete stranger.
She looked confused.
Then completely fearful.

I gave her a kiss on her head, and told her everything was OK. That she was safe.

She quickly backed away from me. Not wanting me to touch her.
As if she had just figured out something horrible.
The look was priceless.

I asked her what is wrong.

I knew it had to be about her fear of the alligator.
But if it wasn't, then maybe it was that she was afraid to suck her thumb because the worm gave her germs.
Or maybe she thought drinking that third capri-sun was going to give her "diabeebees".

She started pinching at the skin on my arm.
I ignored it at first, but she kept doing it.
And doing it again...
and again..

I pushed her hand away, "Ouch Carly that hurts!"

With tears forming in her eyes, this is what she said...

"Mommy, I'm scared."

"Why?  I said, rubbing at my red arm.

She begins to cry.

Then  in all seriousness she says,

"Because I think  YOU ARE an alligator, IN HUMAN CLOTHES! NOW TAKE YOUR SKIN OFF!"

Nope. Didn't see THAT ONE coming.


I asked her some other things she was scared of just so I could know ahead of time.
This is what she told me...


"King cobras, mummys, dragons, skeletons, horseflies, acid for the pool, "bloody mary in the mirror" because it makes your head fall off (thanks camp kids). And why did Jesus make weed killer? That scares me the most!"

OK, so we are good now.
Got the heads up! no pun intended.

Now typical A.D.D style, completely off subject, I will tell you something else she said today.

It is about poop.
So if you don't like hearing about poop...
Then stop here.
And if you keep reading,
then don't give me any shit.

So we were at the restaurant and she had to go potty.

We headed back there and entered the stall together. She sitting, me standing... waiting patiently.

She goes # 1.

The "tinkle" is finished so I ask her if she is done.

I see her strained face, then I hear two little "plop plops".

She ain't done.

I start to read the writing on the stall door to pass the time.

A few more tiny "plops", and she is STILL sitting there.
At least 5 minutes have passed.

I impatiently look at her,  figuring she is doing it to purposely annoy me, so I say,

"OK, Carly, you ARE done. You need to wipe".

She peers up at me still having a strained look and says,

I know, I know,  you are at the edge of your seat....

She says,

"GEEZ Mommy! I'm waiting on the KING POOP!"

I look at her, eyebrows raised, trying to contain myself from cracking up laughing.

Then she points her finger, smiles, clicks her tongue twice and winks.

And I lost it.

Chore Chart

I have some major ADD, always have.

If you were to look back at my report cards or behavior reports you would see I couldn't focus for the life of me.
Still can't.

They would try and teach me Math, I would stare at the pretty bird in the sky.

They would tell me to write a report on the Civil War, I wrote about my fantasy character, Gracie, who was a spy for the government, and always broke her leg for some reason. Then the night before, I would whip something up, adding a lot of "very, very, very, very" to it.

They would tell me to read a book, I would read the same sentence 20 times, then tell them where to put it.


I wasn't a bad kid. I just acted out. I was frustrated. And I felt stupid because of something I couldn't control.
It sucks being born without that part of your brain that can pull away from the pretty bird, or the bug crawling on the floor.
Those things are more interesting to me, I guess.

Now add three kids into the mix.
Being an organized, consistent Mom is hard for me.

Then there's chores.
You know, the mundane tasks that have to be done, or the house will fall apart.

I. HATE. MUNDANE. TASKS.
More than I hate pokemon.
And that is A LOT.

They seem so pointless to me, but they have to be done.
Well, it's not that easy.

I cannot complete a task, and it is obviously in no way that I am lazy. I just CANNOT do mundane tasks without total chaos taking place. I live with this everyday. Constant work, and no progress.

Here is an example of me attempting chores:

Walk into the kitchen to get something to drink.

Start putting dishes in the dishwasher, hear a noise outside.

Go in the backyard to see what the noise is and remember I need to put chlorine in the pool.

Pretty bird.

Before  I actually put chlorine in the pool, I clean out the skimmer.

In the skimmer, is a dead, bloated frog.

Which makes me think of our pet albino corn snake, Albie, whom I forgot needs water to survive.

I frantically run back in the house, fearing he's joined the puffy frog at reptile/amphibian rainbow bridge. (yes, these two species share a heaven, I've decided.)

As I open the top to his cage I see him move. THANK GOD!
As I quickly run in the kitchen to get him water from the sink before he escapes, I see the dishes I never finished. Or never started, in this case.

Better finish those up!

Crap! I need a dishtowel!
As I dig into the huge pile of unfolded clothes that I haven't paid my niece to fold yet, I sit down and start to fold them myself.

Then a neighborhood kid knocks on the door.
Craft time!

As the kids do a craft that I ordered online for the kids Sunday School class I teach, I am reminded that I never started my lesson.

So I get online to look up what I am going to teach.
But the facebook tab is up.
END OF STORY.

My husband walks in the door at 5:30 and looks around the house in confusion. Because he cannot wrap his intelligent, focused, calm mind around what he sees.

"What?!" I say, looking around, frazzled.  "I've had a busy freakin' day! Been getting things done around this house."

He looks at me as if I have something growing out of my forehead.  "I see",  he replies with a grin.

There is huge laundry pile in the middle of the floor with one folded dishtowel next to it...

Craft supplies all over the place, and the children that go along with them...

Dishes still in the sink from the night before, but the dishwasher wide open, showing that I apparently attempted it...

A green, non chlorinated pool with the pungent smell of death coming from the skimmer that was never put back in the water...

A missing snake...

And the computer open to facebook...

Guess I can't blame him for "the look".

Yes, this is sad. It is sad because it makes me completely crappy at my non paying job.
I wouldn't hire me.

Anyway,  I just realized the title for this post is "chore chart."

See where that got me.

Pretty bird.

Camp is GOOD

It is summer and my kids are in a camp this week.

I think I am supposed to feel guilty about that, but i'm not sure why.

Some people may never understand why I don't feel guilty, so I will explain.

~ No, I am not going to a "paid job" everyday, yes, I chose that life, but isn't that WHY they need camp? Or maybe more like why I NEED them to go to camp? Because I spend so much time hiding in the bathroom from them, that I need someone else to watch them for a change? For some SANITY.

~ We have PLENTY to do around here, don't get me wrong... crafts, pool, movies, but when a daily activity consists of telling the children to go count mufflers in the street, then it's time for them to have some fun elsewhere. This means I am either out of meds, or... Well, it usually just means I am out of meds.

~ Each person only has so much they can put up with on a daily basis and mine runs out at about the 20th sibling fight. I mean SHIT! How can you find THAT MANY things to fight about!
So what if you brother is chasing you around the house with YOUR Mardi Gras spear! It will just bend when it hits you in the eyeball anyway... it's not like its REAL, sheesh!
And besides, you need to be lucky you even HAVE one! You know how hard it is to catch one of those things?!
Who cares if your sister is drawing a tiara on your bug/electric/water/what the hell are these things, type, pokemon card.
No really, WHAT ARE THEY!!!

I. HATE. POKEMON.
There I said it.
Don't judge me.

~ "You are so lucky, you have a pool! That should keep them busy during the summer."
Yes, I am lucky.
Thanks.

But unfortunately,

A POOL IS THE PASSAGEWAY FOR THE DEVIL TO ENTER YOUR SOUL!

Oops, ha, Sorry bout' that.

Anyway, yes, the pool. The lovely pool. (twitch)

It is great to have IF they had never invented GOGGLES!!!

GOGGLES ARE SATAN'S SUNGLASSES!

They account for AT LEAST 80% of the summertime fights!
"Mommy, I can't find my goggles!"
"Mommy! Carly has my goggles!"
"Mommy, Mommy! my goggleeeees don't fiiiiiiiit!!"

Getting annoyed yet??

Good, then let me keep going so you can get the FULL effect.

"Mommy! My goggles are at the bottom of the deep end and I can't get theeeeeeem!"
"Mommy! The goggles are hurting me!"
"Mommy! My goggles are the blue ones!"

"MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY!"

Ah, yes.
Why don't I just look for the good in the situation you say?
At least I have a pool.
At least I have children.
At least I get to stay home with them.

Oh, I do. I do ALL THE TIME.
I have to.
That is why I write.

To laugh it all out, let it go, and be a better Mom because of it.
It helps me to see the good.

So here is the good in this one...

Camp is good.

Camp helps THEM. Camp helps ME.

I stratigically spread it out during the summer for this reason.

Because when I pick them up today, my love for them will be renewed. My sanity will be restored. The house will be cleaned (but probably not).
And it will give me time to gather up all of the goggles so I can put them in the trash can.

And when August comes and my last child goes off to Kindergarten,
I will be on here again, balling my eyes out, wishing that the summer never ended.
Wondering where the time went.

Oh the irony.

Motherhood....

WHOA.

This was the result of letting my child walk off with with my phone...

How I woke up this morning...

(Brice) "Mommy, mommy!"

(Me, drooling) "Hmmmmm?"

"Do fish sleep with their eyes open?"

"Hmmmm? yeah, yeah, sure Brice".

"Mommy Mommy!"

"Yes, Brice?"

"Do fish sleep upside down on the top of the water?"

"Ok. I'm up."

POP!

My hair is falling out.


No really, IT IS.

I've had some theories as to why, so here ya go...

(a) My Mom's dad was bald. It skips a generation.

(b) My husband is bald. So it would only be fair that I support him. Therefore, I have unknowingly started shedding my hair out of pure love for him.

(c) I don't do the allergy test when I use the hair coloring boxes.

(d) The picture posted above.

Who knows.
But I am going with D. Yes, a big ole D for "Devin".

Also  a B, for Brice
and a C, for Carly.


Of course, it leads to the question...
"Why did you have three kids, if you can't handle it?"

Don't worry, I can handle it.
I have. I will. And I will lose my hair in the process.
Oooor then, maybe I can't handle it.

Maybe I will be holding my knees, rocking back and forth in the corner of the institution while singing "Ironic" by Alanis Morrisette, sporting my bald head.

But I am tired. Just like every other Mom out there. And i'm not ahshamed to admit the moments of defeat! But I will do my best and continue to battle on!

After I bitch.

These are the top 5 things that I am tired of.  In no particular order...

1.  Doctors, therapists, autistic interventions. Just give me a drink. Or my child in this case.

2.  The extremely loud POPPING sound everytime I open my refrigerator door. Those that have been in my house and know what I mean, can agree. It will be the trigger that makes me snap for good. I swear it!

3.  Unscrewing the toilet seat to clean the dried up pee from under the back part. If you have boys, you know exactly what I mean. Seriously! To be positive though, I am glad that I finally figured out where the smell is coming from.

4.  Folding clothes for 5 people when only one little pile actually belongs to me. But i'm learning... I just let it pile up, close the laundry door so it is out of sight, then pay my niece to do it when she comes over. Yes, I will go broke over this. I don't care.

5.  The unknown crusty food subtance that I find EVERYDAY in the grout of my tile floors. What is it and where does it come from? My kids, no doubt, but how do they do it? How do they do it EVERYDAY???!!! And manage to get it in the cracks and not on the tile itself? Why do I find myself on my hands and knees picking at it?  I know! Because there is no other way to get it out! Sometimes it stabs under the fingernail, causing me to scream!  And as I go to rinse it off, I slip on a piece of ice that missed its way into the cup from the icemaker... but I catch myself before I fall, grabbing onto the refrigerator door.

Of course, since I am already there, I usually grab a bite. It will make me feel better...

...Until I open the refrigerator door.