Being a parent is hard work.
We all do and say things to our kids that we wish we could take back.
As a mother of 3, I will never admit that I am perfect, or even pretend that I've got all my motherly shit together. Because I don't.
But, honestly, I do the best I can in the moment.
Let's look at some examples at where I could have done better...
Example #1:
The kid: "Eww gross! I'm not eating this!"
What I said: "Mommy spent time to make it, so YOU WILL eat it! There are starving kids in (fill in the blank) and I am not making separate meals for everyone."
What I should have said: "Baby, I'm sorry, I am tired, so could you please, Get off YOUR UNGRATEFUL ASS, and cook ME a meal! Do you think I like coming up with ideas of what all of y'all will eat just to have someone say, "ewww gross!!! When I AM the one who ends up with the smallest, toughest piece of meat, or the last 4 peas in the bag because that's all that was left! If it was up to me we would have cereal every night! I'm good with cereal! You good with cereal? Great. Then fix it yourself!"
Example #2:
The kid: "But I don't want to pick up my toys!"
What I said: " Pick them up right now because someone is going to step on them and get hurt, plus I am tired of picking them up for you."
What I should have said: "Get off your lazy ASS and pick this worthless crap up! You never actually play with it anyway! You just throw it around the house for no reason then leave it there for me to pick up and I am TIRED of cutting my foot on these stupid damn Lego's! If I see them again, I am going to gather them together and burn them, while I dance around the fire!"
Example #3:
The kid: "I don't wanna do my homework, whine, whine, whine"
What I said: "Sorry buddy, but if you don't do it you will get a bad grade and if that happens I will take your games away."
What I should have said: "Back in my day, if you said you weren't gonna do something you got your ass whooped with the belt! If you don't GET IN THIS CHAIR, and do your HOMEWORK you will eventually fail, drop out of school, live with me until you are 25, which means at some point I will kick you out and you will be selling drugs to survive. So get over here and write your ABC's! NOW!
Example#4
The kid: I don't want to go to bed!
What I said: "Go get in bed now, you have school in the morning and it is already 9:30."
What I should have said: " If you come out of that room one more time, I am going to tie you down to the bed, put tape on your mouth, and go fix myself a drink. Or, Mommy is just going to hop in the car, go for a long drive, and let Daddy deal with it."
Example #5:
The kid: "Mom! So and so hit me! Cry cry cry!"
What I said: "Who hit you? OK, let me see it... Were you picking on him? No? Let me have a talk with him and see what happened. OK, now, y'all need to hug and apologize, because brothers are supposed to stick up for each other, not hurt each other."
What I should have said: "He hit you?! Well, then go KNOCK HIS ASS OUT!"
See, we ALL make mistakes. Even little ole me.
So next time you hear any of these "What you should have said" answers in your head, just know...
You are not alone.
But...
You ARE crazy.
Welcome to the dark side. Nice to have some company.
