Guess what...
I'm a sinner!
Always have been, always will be.
Oh, and I eat at Chick-fil-a sometimes.
Don't freak out! It's not what you think! Whatever it is YOU think.
The truth is, I like how I can stick my kids in that little glass room as they scream at the top of their lungs, while I enjoy a semi healthy sandwich and pretend to be on an airplane, flying in silence, to a remote island. Alone. Peeeeaceful. If only for a moment.
So yeah, the glass room works wonders.
And I have stomach issues with other fast food. Don't judge.
So I have been thinking about this subject alot lately...
Christianity.
And I have been thinking about the word, "Christian".
I hear opinions and see hatred between those who say they are a Christian, and those that do not.
Those that say they are Followers of Jesus, and those that follow a different God. Or none at all.
Even hatred BETWEEN Christians.
I actually friended God on Facebook awhile back, and was appalled by the things I read. It definitely wasn't a place to go if you needed to be uplifted.
I'm beginning to think that God really didn't make that page.
Hatred towards Christians, what's it all about?? Who knows.
I think one reason is this...
People hear the word "Christian" and echoed in the back of their minds are words like
"Hypocrite". "Narrow minded". "Unforgiving". "Judgmental".
Can't blame them really. It's true for some.
Really, it's true for people, in general.
But Christians have been put to a high standard of meeting this great expectation of being Christ-like.
Well guess what, they aren't.
They can definitely try. It's what they are supposed to do.
But in the end, they are still HUMAN.
They have deep dark hurts and painful secrets.
They struggle everyday.
Just like the three billion something other people on this earth.
We really are all the same. Aren't we?
Damn labels.
But yeah, "Christian".
The word that pushes so many people away.
It really is kinda sad.
So this is what I know...
1. I drink, I cuss, I get angry as hell.
2. I divorced my first husband.
3. I've hurt people. Bad.
4. I've lied.
5. I have been down in some deep dark places in my life.
6. I have told God that I HATE him.
Kinda sounds like I don't make the cut. Rut Ro.
We are ALL the "least of these", are we not?
We ALL need to help build each other up. There is so much hate in this world and so many people choosing sides, tearing people down because of their story.
My story is MINE. If you believe different from me, that's fine. Don't hate me. Just love me. And I will try my best not to talk about you behind your back. Deal?
I try not to lead people astray for my own agendas. But it can be hard.
I may not even realize that hatred is what is leading me. It can be disguised well.
So yes, I have been that person. I think we all have. No? You can admit it... No one can hear you. Well, God can, but He already knew anyway. If you believe in Him, that is.
I believe in Him.
Because of this, people may call me a hypocrite. But i'm really just bipolar/ADHD.
God made me special like that.
So that I am able to be the ultimate example of Christian confusion.
I can tell you I am a crappy person, and that I love Jesus, all in the same story... then notice the pretty bird in the sky and forget what the hell I'm talking about.
Something else about me...
1. I've gone to a Christian church since the day I was born.
2. I teach a children's Sunday school class.
3. I am a deacon.
4. I read the bible to my children, and we talk about it.
5. I tell people how much I love God. Because there is nothing I can do that will make Him love me any less. And I think that is pretty freakin great. He may want to put me in the glass room for a bit, but He still loves me the same.
As a Christian, this is what I am sure of...
1. For every one of those things I have done wrong, God has forgiven me.
2. He knows, I know, He knows. Got it? Therefore, I continue to try harder.
3. I will fall again. And again. AND AGAIN.
4. Jesus and the Bible are my foundation. If I didn't have these two things I would be lost. But if I do fall, or my bible gets lost, I will just refer to the tattoo on my ankle. A cross, and my favorite bible verse.
5. My favorite bible verse: Philippians 4:13
6. We were all born with something in our lives that is difficult to overcome.
7. God loves us anyway.
So what is my point?
I am PROUD to say that I am a Christian.
Because what that is to me, is a struggling human being, just trying to do better. And knowing that the Big Man in the sky sent his little human self to earth to die for my stupidity. That is a love beyond words.
I have left God many times in my life. But when I ran back to Him, He was still there waiting. Always there.
So if I am sitting in Chick-fil-a with my arms out to the side, swaying back and forth with a big smile on my face, just smile and wave, and tell me to enjoy my trip to the island. Or just honk if your not coming in. Doesn't matter to me. Because Jesus will be there. He is always with me wherever I go. Just as he is always with you.
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