Chore Chart

I have some major ADD, always have.

If you were to look back at my report cards or behavior reports you would see I couldn't focus for the life of me.
Still can't.

They would try and teach me Math, I would stare at the pretty bird in the sky.

They would tell me to write a report on the Civil War, I wrote about my fantasy character, Gracie, who was a spy for the government, and always broke her leg for some reason. Then the night before, I would whip something up, adding a lot of "very, very, very, very" to it.

They would tell me to read a book, I would read the same sentence 20 times, then tell them where to put it.


I wasn't a bad kid. I just acted out. I was frustrated. And I felt stupid because of something I couldn't control.
It sucks being born without that part of your brain that can pull away from the pretty bird, or the bug crawling on the floor.
Those things are more interesting to me, I guess.

Now add three kids into the mix.
Being an organized, consistent Mom is hard for me.

Then there's chores.
You know, the mundane tasks that have to be done, or the house will fall apart.

I. HATE. MUNDANE. TASKS.
More than I hate pokemon.
And that is A LOT.

They seem so pointless to me, but they have to be done.
Well, it's not that easy.

I cannot complete a task, and it is obviously in no way that I am lazy. I just CANNOT do mundane tasks without total chaos taking place. I live with this everyday. Constant work, and no progress.

Here is an example of me attempting chores:

Walk into the kitchen to get something to drink.

Start putting dishes in the dishwasher, hear a noise outside.

Go in the backyard to see what the noise is and remember I need to put chlorine in the pool.

Pretty bird.

Before  I actually put chlorine in the pool, I clean out the skimmer.

In the skimmer, is a dead, bloated frog.

Which makes me think of our pet albino corn snake, Albie, whom I forgot needs water to survive.

I frantically run back in the house, fearing he's joined the puffy frog at reptile/amphibian rainbow bridge. (yes, these two species share a heaven, I've decided.)

As I open the top to his cage I see him move. THANK GOD!
As I quickly run in the kitchen to get him water from the sink before he escapes, I see the dishes I never finished. Or never started, in this case.

Better finish those up!

Crap! I need a dishtowel!
As I dig into the huge pile of unfolded clothes that I haven't paid my niece to fold yet, I sit down and start to fold them myself.

Then a neighborhood kid knocks on the door.
Craft time!

As the kids do a craft that I ordered online for the kids Sunday School class I teach, I am reminded that I never started my lesson.

So I get online to look up what I am going to teach.
But the facebook tab is up.
END OF STORY.

My husband walks in the door at 5:30 and looks around the house in confusion. Because he cannot wrap his intelligent, focused, calm mind around what he sees.

"What?!" I say, looking around, frazzled.  "I've had a busy freakin' day! Been getting things done around this house."

He looks at me as if I have something growing out of my forehead.  "I see",  he replies with a grin.

There is huge laundry pile in the middle of the floor with one folded dishtowel next to it...

Craft supplies all over the place, and the children that go along with them...

Dishes still in the sink from the night before, but the dishwasher wide open, showing that I apparently attempted it...

A green, non chlorinated pool with the pungent smell of death coming from the skimmer that was never put back in the water...

A missing snake...

And the computer open to facebook...

Guess I can't blame him for "the look".

Yes, this is sad. It is sad because it makes me completely crappy at my non paying job.
I wouldn't hire me.

Anyway,  I just realized the title for this post is "chore chart."

See where that got me.

Pretty bird.